Organic foods aren’t just exotic foods
Have you noticed that organic food looks a bit different this year?
Suddenly, it is no longer enough to be labeled “organic”.
From leaf lettuce “carefully groomed by devoted gourmet vegetarian monks” to beef cattle “pampered by sentient cowboys on remote Wyoming ranches,” the stories get more and more creative.
Organic foods now compete with other organic foods for the best “story,” to use the Hollywood screenwriter’s favorite word. And even writing a menu for an organic restaurant is now an officially sanctioned academic course in some schools.
Here’s an example: Do you only want a “Cobb Salad”?
Or would you prefer to have on your plate “Fourme d’Ambert, applewood-smoked bacon without preservative, buttermilk panna cotta from specially raised Guernsey cows, certified organic romaine lettuce, free-range hard-boiled egg and green onion salad” in your plate?
Same thing, my friends.
Here is the story of an organic chicken. We’ll call her Melinda.
Melinda was born into a wonderful and loving family, as you would expect.
And she was raised properly on a farm in Utopia, Vermont. That is, she grew up pecking organic corn and nine other natural grains, and she very much enjoyed listening to Mozart’s magnificent “Piano Concerto in G major, K. 453” – which was played in her chicken coop.
The occasional yoga class kept her flexible, fit, and helped her establish a harmonious relationship with her backyard world.
A cheerful and sociable hen, Melinda learned the art of meditation from her mother, one of the first Buddhist hens in the henhouse. She learned that if she led a good life, she could eventually achieve chicken nirvana.
But also being a down-to-earth bird, so to speak, Melinda knew she would likely come back to earth several times in various incarnations. In her next life, she hoped to return as a golden retriever, after longingly watching several people on the farm who seemed to be eternally happy and overjoyed at the sight of something as simple as a small yellow ball.
Melinda was, of course, a free-range hen, which gave her the heartwarming illusion that she could walk around carefree for the rest of her natural life.
She loved the healthy grain, the gentle breeze, the sun on her beak, the stars at night and the 15,000 other young chickens with whom she shared her cozy home.
Overall, Melinda was the perfect organic chicken – one with the perfect credentials to end up in our local farmer’s market the other day: farmer, grain-fed, hormone-free, antibiotic-free, relaxed, at peace with herself. and looking forward to a happy life after death.
Melinda was priced at 12.50 a pound. (Hey, good “stories” don’t come cheap. Also note that, following the advice of marketing gurus, I didn’t use the “$” sign. Research tells us that would make Melinda look overpriced, )
It’s a big organic world out there; in fact, more than $ 56 billion in organic food is now sold each year in our country. So whether you buy without chemicals, or without GMOs, or under natural sedation or whatever, as the Cockneys in London say, “you pay your money and you make your choice.”
It all depends on the story of who you believe.
Resident of Sarasota, Pete Tannen is an award-winning comedian, newspaper columnist, and television show writer. He is also a renowned Senior Influencer.